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Have you always wanted to feel successful and productive? Well, you don't have to wait another minute! I have a sure fire way of increasing your feelings of success and accomplishment! Within minutes of following my program, I guarantee that you will feel and appear more productive! All it takes is one easy step, and you will be on your way to leading the life you always wanted! This specialist has developed a fool proof way of dealing with those icky, sticky feelings of failure and lost time.
Do you worry every day because you haven't checked off everything on your to do list? Are you tired of thinking that everyone else is more efficient than you day after day, after day? Are there things that you have always wanted to do, but don't think you ever will?
Well, throw away that to do list and every feeling of inadequacy, because in just 30 seconds I am going to reveeal a one-time offer that will change your life!
Okay, audience, are you ready to discover the secret to true happiness?
Take just 30 seconds, or 1, or even 2 minutes to read this schedule and compare yourself to something so pathetic that it shouldn't be allowed in public.
That's right compare your day to mine, and I guarantee that your feelings of inadequacy will decrease by at least 10%! *results have not been tested and may vary
Operator will NOT be standing by!
My day:
Alarm 8:15
snoozed until 8:30
Dressed and checked email
Out the door by 8:53
Arrived at the Johnson's at 9:00
No one home
no service project:(
Went home
Thought about bed
phone calls
Landlord's son arrives (he is supposed to be gone for the summer!)
Explained pipe water damage & lock
Checked email
Continued with the phone calls
Tried to write
Did not write
Blog surfed
Tried to write
Started to write
Words were stuck
3:30 nap
4:30 alarm
snoozed til 5:00
voice mail - small group in Hami cancelled
Cereal bowl and a half of blueberries
Watched tv
Added linkage to blog
Tried to write
Unsuccessful
Tried to Think
Lack of Clarity
8:00 blading
9:00 shower
IM
phone calls
food
IM
Crossed Street
Kim, Murle, Victor
Came home
Checked email
Heard a noise in kitchen
Conclusion mouse
Remembering traps
Evil laugh
Here mousie mousie!
Posting Blog
*all claims in this entry have been made in jest. Sadly, the only truth to be found in the entry above is the schedule of my day. Should you actually believe that your life will improve by comparing yourself to others, you may do so at your own risk. In no way do I really suggest or condone this destructive behavior. I include the small print because, believe it or not, someone may take this seriously. Click on this LINK to see that these people really do exist.
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7 comments:
hey, watch it! i was one of those phone calls... and 5 minutes on the phone with me is more excitement than some people get in a whole month! hopefully i can talk to you sometime soon when im not trying to put away groceries and entertain the luken twins.
p.s. i like reading your blog because in my head i can hear you saying all these things... and it makes me giggle... slightly.
You're right, my life is completely full since talking to you. I will never need anything again, ever. Thank you for correcting the folly of my ways. Oh, Brittany, even when putting away groceries with Gen and Nancy on standby, you were able to change my world!
LOL
Yes, I suppose I do write like I speak. I'm glad I make you giggle slightly!
It really was good to talk to you!
I love you!
Very cute blog! ;) I love the name btw, enigmatic simplicity! You know the one thing that will really put everything into perspective.... Jesus. Spending time with Him. Sometimes I get caught up in life... especially lately..but life is so much more worth living with Him. ;) I kept reading your blog and kept thinking you would say something about that. You seem like a lot of fun. What do you plan to do with your Russian major? Have you ever been to Russia? I have a lot of friends who went to Russian orphanages through Hope Chest...ever hear of it?
Blessings,
Shirley
Shirly~
Wow! Thank you sooooo much for commenting! I didn't realize that I think and talk about Jesus more than I write about Him. That is part of my difficulty; distinguishing what I am thinking when I am writing and what I have actually written. In a way, I take it for granted that it's what I am thinking; wondering how He would respond to the things in my life. I have been needing to spend more time with Him and have been making progress, but I know that even these efforts are wanting. I really appreciate the accountability; it is soooo important to my walk with Jesus!
It is only through Grace that I have been saved, because Jesus died for my sins, and I have accepted Him as my Lord and Savior!
Russia~My heart was broken for the Russian people when I first went in 2001. It was a Christian mission trip that I attended with my church at the time, Trinity Missions in Cleveland (Middleburg Hts.). We went through OMS International and were "the draw" for a two week English camp for college students in the city of Ivanovo. Since then, I have returned for another short-term missions trip, and again for a month last summer to study at Novgorod State University. In 2001 I also took an opportunity to help with a VBS in Pignon, Haiti. I am currently working on plans to return to Ivanovo for a week long camp in February with Trinity.
My dream is to become a full-time Russian missionary, however, I am keeping my mind open to however it is that God will have me use my knowledge. I have a feeling that He might just know better than I do about where I can best be used;)
One of my reasons for pursuing a secular degree is to open doors for visas if/when the country closes to missionaries again. With a secular degree and some connections that I have made, I would be able walk out my faith in the work environment and continue to reach Russians in various ways. Honestly, I know that I need to be patient and God will open those doors when it is time. Though, it is hard sometimes.
Hope Chest~I have never heard of it, but I will have to learn more about it. I have not yet been to any of the infamous Russian orphanages, but I can only imagine the abundance of needs there.
BTW, it's funny that you should say that I seem fun, because when I read your blog I just keep thinking that we would really get along; you seem like a blast yourself!
You have a beautiful family BTW! I saw the pics you posted:) I hope that I will have a family someday, but for now I am thankful for the opportunities open to me as a single person.
Rock On My Christian Sista, and God Bless!
~Kara
Compared to a day in the life of G the LB ...
700 Wake up to alarm
701 Back to sleep (alarm still ringing)
735 Wake up again
736 Curse alarm for not waking me up earlier
738 Shower
745 Dress while eating breakfast
750 Get in car
751 Run back to apartment for coffee
753 Get in car
833 Get to work
835 Check email and check blog
840 Write and/or surf blogs
1000 Coffee break
1030 Write and/or surf blogs
1200 Lunch
1245 Check email, log into IM
100 Feel guilty over doing no work
101 Find work to do
200 No more work to do
201 Surf web
230 Write and/or surf blogs
300 Coffee break
330 Find work to do
415 Watch clock tick backwards
416 Write and/or surf blogs
430 Time to go home
515 Get home, sleep (or read good book if not sleepy)
800 Wake up to friends calling
815 Quick dinner of leftovers
900 Meet friends, night becomes a blur
115 Get home somehow
120 Check email
130 Write and/or surf blogs
230 Crash
And it starts all over again.
Wow! Thanks for making me feel better;) JK! Hey, at least you are getting paid...I do it for free! I can understand how it can get "monotonous" (yes the real definition not the one used in Zenfo Pros post from the other day;), but, to your credit,you don't seem to be any less interesting!
I must say, getting paid makes a diff. Yesterday I felt a bit better after finding out that I have received a modest scholarship for outstanding academic excellence for an English capstone! Funny thing is that I haven't taken, nor am I signed up for an any such capstone! I suppose it doesn't matter where it came from....I feel a little better about my wasted days! (No, I am not sure how that will last, but yah)
Poductivity is overrated!
Way cool! I bet the missions trip to Russia was a BLAST! I have always dreamed of doing mission work... especially as a child... I wanted to be a missionary to Africa. I went on two mission trips to Mexico when I was 15. THe first one we went down to Ciudad Vicoria... or near it... we worked at an orphanage.. I helped by painting the inside of a building... such fun memories.. the second time I went, we went to Juarez. Once again stayed at an orphanage... Have you ever heard of "The Toymaker's Dream" or "Spellbound?" I played the part of a princess doll in the street version of the Toymaker's Dream. It was awesome... I will have to tell you all about it someday... ;)
I think it is VERY SMART of you to pursue a secular degree... I think you will have more leeway... or leverage in any sort of oversea work. That is SOOOO cool!
A good friend of mine minored in German, but didn't take any German classes until she was completely done with her major... then she finished up in Germany with an openended plane ticket home... so she traveled around Europe until she ran out of money... or that was the plan, but she was in Berlin when 911 happened... and let's just say she was so scared and couldn't wait to get home.
Blessings! ;)
Shirley
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