Friday, August 03, 2007

Just a Snippet!

It's been awhile since I last blogged...grrr...I feel like every time I try I just get really busy and have difficulty going to bed because I feel like I am missing out on stuff. I don't like to miss out on things....people things. I think that it would help me to get on a sleep schedule, but for some reason I am fighting this. I think a lot of it has to do with work. I can't say that I hate it there, but I just don't look forward to going to work most days. Honestly, I really don't mind opening, but I really hate closing one night and then opening the next day. I don't like not having a schedule or feeling like my days off are really going to be my days off. I do like that I get to talk about my faith, and I am free to speak truth to them in ways that I couldn't elsewhere. I feel like I am going from one mode to another without...and I really hate that I can't just be savoring those moments...because instead, in the back of my mind I am always knowing that I am being paid to make the sale. I don't want to sell people things they don't want or need, but I know that part of this is that they have the choice to say no as well. In one way, business intrigues me and on the other hand, I get so tired of it being the focus there. I need to leave, and yet I need to make the time to find a job in order to do so! I will be the first to admit that I continue to struggle to find the discipline of being in the Word....I know that it's about accountability, and about not wanting to face things inside that I know are coming. What I am afraid of, I don't know. I only know that I don't want to be afraid of it anymore. I don't want it to rule me. Fear is not my friend, in fact it is the antithesis of who God is...LOVE! I am tired of it, I am tired of a lot of things that I have been ignoring for far too long. I am not sure what all of this means but, there it is.

As far as what I have been doing for the past few weeks, well, there has been a lot. First of all, I have been working a lot of crazy back and forth hours as usual. Also, I have been spending some quality time talking with some great people. I guess the biggest things is that Kim and I have moved. We are now both living with Glenn and Cathy while our stuff is crammed into storage. Okay, so most of it is my stuff. We don't plan to live here permanantly , but meanwhile we are taking a test drive in intentional living together. Though, I don't this is really like a test drive, because I really don't plan on returning the car. There might be some enhancements and repairs along the way, but overall I know that it is not just about right or wrong, it's about being; about seeking Him. Anyway, this is just a snippet of what is actually going on in my head, but the rest of that will have to come later. Currently, Kim and I are praying through a possible move to the trailer park and a specific trailer that has opened up. Also, what do we look in this like and what does it mean to be a part of kingdom movements? I guess the real question in all of it is...Why do we think that our life up to this point has not been a part of these kingdom happenings? There has and will always be grace and mercy and a need to go deeper with Him. I guess the difference is that whole intentional part. Because I really don't think that the kingdom is something that we can avoid or choose to not be a part of...I just think that there is a beauty in being aware of how He is moving in us, and allows us to be more available to the specific things that He is calling us to...I am too tired to know if any of this makes sense, so I will stop here.

The gist of my life right now is this...I am seeing the change in the simple things. What this means, I don't know yet. I just know that it's what I am seeing.

Much Love to All!

2 comments:

stephanie lee said...

what does the 565 in your blog template mean?

Kara said...

Stephan!e Lee~

Great Question! I don't know what it is for....it was just on the template. I don't think it is supposed to mean anything. To be honest, I really didn't notice it before. As soon as I really have the time, I plan on changing things up a bit here. This will include the appearance. Until then, I the 565 might bug me just a little now. Do you have any idea of it's meaning?
THanks!
Kara
ps. thanks for stopping by!

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